YOUR COMMENTS

I presently attend Souhegan High School, and I can without a doubt say that I respect my teachers at SHS significantly more than I respected my teachers at Amherst Middle School. At AMS, I personally felt patronized and condescended by many of the teachers. At SHS I have rarely felt the same way.
Saying that calling people by their first names has bred this horrific crime is juvenile and scape goating.
Oh, and for anyone who cares, these kids were never the stereotype for causing this kind of tragedy - never.
- Sara, Mont Vernon

I've got an idea for everyone! how about you don't condem someone you know nothing about! how about you don't make judgements about a group based on a few, and how about you don't condem the new simply because you don't understand it!
- a friend of quinn, mont vernon

As a Souhegan student, I honestly can't believe that people could take the horrible act that happened and pin it on one thing- Souhegan. Many people listen to the stereotypes of Souhegan and get so angry over things like calling teachers by their first names (which helps us to build a better bond with our teachers and makes it easier for us to approach them for help. it is an option for the kids to call their teachers by the first name as well as for the teachers to be asked to be called by their first name. you may think it creates disrespect, but i believe it helps respect because you know your teachers also respect you.), and the way community council is made up of a lot of students(however, it is also made up of many staff members). They don't take the time to learn what the school is really about. People take their generalizations and bad feelings toward the school, and when something horrible like this happens, they point the finger at us. One of the other teens arrested dropped out from Hollis/Brookline High School. I'm not in any way blaming the school, because the school did not cause him to do this, but has anyone noticed how people are blaming souhegan, but not hollis/brookline? Once again, I'm not saying we should blame hollis, but you can see that souhegan is an easier target because were not a “traditional” high school.

Another thing- Bob: "If only the citizens of Amherst could see how their are viewed, as snob with a sense of entitlement. I've seen Amherst residents shocked expression when they realize that they are not the cat's meow. It's priceless to see that."
So we do understand how people view us, just as we understand how people view souhegan, but it doesn’t mean they are right. You need to know that we're not the only town viewed as snobs. I feel that many towns in this area(including yours) are viewed as being affluent and snobby, whether deserved or not. And the fact that you said "It's priceless to see that." makes me sick. In case you've forgotten, this whole argument started because a woman was murdered. The "price" that was paid so you can see amherst residents "realize that they are not the cat's meow" was a woman's life. I don't think you realize this isn't about you, or our town's reputation. It disgusts me that you said that.
- souhegan student, amherst

Quote: "

Once you become friends with your students you loose respect that is needed between students and their teachers. Society is loosing out on being respectful to elders.
What are these students going to call their professors in college? I don't think their first name basis will fly in college!
So these students in Amherst go from Middle school calling their teachers by Mr. & Ms. to Souhegan High school where they're on a first name basis. Then to college (cause we know all Amherst students go to college) and have to go back to referring to their educators by Mr., Ms or Professor.

Like Aretha Franklin once sang
R E S P E C T
- Mr. Peter Griffin, Manchester NH"

Peter Griffin?? Come on ... no wonder why you can't think outside the box ... you and Stewie and Margaret (all on this page) ... use your real names. Please!
- Bryan Stinchfield, Aspen, CO

As one of the Souhegan students that took part in the Pumpkin outreach program to Mont Vernon students, i am deeply offended by some of the judgemental posts. How many schools in the area would hand-paint almost 300 pumpkins for children and then spend a day not only delivering the pumpkins but playing and reading with the children? All of the posters from other towns, judging our school, do your schools do outreach programs like this? This was not a one-time thing Souhegan is known for making a difference in their community and around the globe.
- Souhegan Student, Amherst, NH

The fact that someone has the nerve to relate Souhegan students calling their teachers by their first names and this killing is not only absurd, but very upsetting. I am currently a senior at SHS; i went to school with the two kids charged, and not once, for a second would i say that Souhegan had anything to do with the actions these students took. Calling a teacher by their first name is optional, but for the most part students choose to do so. It creates a deeper bond where students and teachers can relate and talk on a level that almost no other school offers.
In regards to Community Council. Why do the parents of these representatives from SHS tell their sons or daughters to write about Community Council at Souhegan on their college transcripts? Because it is incredible. Colleges love to hear about SHS's council. Why? Because it creates leaders. It promotes fair desicions and responsibility. At SHS students have power on council because SHS creates independent people. Capable of excelling in college and life. No one should make it out to seem as if these students control all of Souhegan. That is ridiculous. These students simply represent the voices of the student body in an adult setting where a teenagers ideas might be misconstrude at first. This has nothing to do with what two of Souhegans students decided to do one night. AS it says in the article. Souhegans dropout rate is below the state average at 6% compared to 10%. We graduate 80% of our students to a four year college. Without this insident, the community would advocate for our school. Agreeing that it is not only a successful school but incredibly helpful to our students. But, now that two students made a bad desicion the entire school is being criticized? That is not right. Do not believe for one second that you can place the blame on Souhegans ways or group these students and their actions with the rest of Souhegans population. Souhegan doesnt turn out poor people. Parents, friends, the community, and Souhegan are all involved in shaping a person in Amherst. Do not, scrutinize an excelling institution because of two students poor desicions.
- Nathan Marcucci, Amherst

ok Bob D... First off you are from Bedford, that says enough. I'm pretty sure that Bedford in more affluent than Amherst is ,and by what you have been posting, alot more snobby.

Second off I am a sophmore at SHS and love it. I feel that calling my trachers by their first names creats a deeper respect. I feel more comfortable going to any one of my teachers with a problem academicaly or not.

And what about Hollis? Spader was from there.

Another was home schooled and a mormon. Does that mean all mormon sand home school children are now going to go out and murder some one?

And really... you'd want Mont Vernon kids going to Milford? Have you looked at the crime rate/ drop out/ SAT scores/ overall respect?
- Grace, Amherst

I see double standards here. If a kid goes to Harvard, it's because of the parents, but if a kid goes to jail. it's because of school? School and home both are part of a kid and SHS is trying in it's own way to educate kids and make them better citizens. If your kid is not in SHS, you don't have any business to judge the school and their procedures. Are you sure that there are no problems in other high schools where teachers are called as Mr. or Ms. instead of by their first names? And why am I seeing so many comments about how they call their teachers, but not about their trip to Mont Vernon Village school? What ever happened to positive re-inforcement?

A tragedy happened in the community and SHS is not responsible for that. It's the individuals' choice of actions that made this tragedy happen. If you can't give a helping hand to the community, please keep quite.
- Mom, Amherst

As a resident of Mont Vernon, where these murders occurred, and as a graduate of Souhegan High School, I can't believe people are even making a link between the school's philosophy and the recent murder in my town. First of all, the option of addressing teachers by their first names is not a big deal. It is a representation of the mutual respect and strong relationships made between the students and staff at Souhegan. I was a little uncomfortable calling my teachers "Rob" or "Nancy" at first, but within a week it didn't even phase me. It is important to note that students are invited to address teachers by their first names. When meeting someone new or conversing with an adult, I still use the traditional honorifics "Mr." and "Mrs." when necessary, unless otherwise invited to just use one's first name. Although I admit that Souhegan is not geared to a number of students who need a high amount of discipline, I can't say enough good things about Souhegan. To be blunt, if there is a problem with the students at Souhegan, it is almost definitely not the school's fault. Let's not forget that Amherst is a very affluent town, and many teens have too much access to their parents' money and too much free time. This topic is much more worthy of discussion than how students address teachers.

Kim S., your comments are completely foreign to me. If you had a child go through Souhegan, I have no idea where you could have gotten those ideas and how you could have made those connections. No teacher at Souhegan is more interested in being in a "click [sic]" or being facebook friends with their students.

Mr. Peter Griffin, I currently attend Saint Michael's College, and besides the fact that Souhegan has excellently prepared me for college, I actively address my professors by their first names when invited to, which is the majority of the time.

Regarding the murder, any blame placed on the school has absolutely no practical significance. This could have happened anywhere; it is an incident that couldn't have been prevented except by those who committed the horrible act. I know that others have made this point, but it deserves a repeat: the two boys with murder on their minds and blood on their hands were not from Amherst and did not attend Souhegan High School. One attended Hollis/Brookline High School and one was home-schooled.
- C. Foley, Mont Vernon, NH

The fact that our kids call their teachers by their first names has nothing to do with the coldblooded murder committed by their classmates and the other two. You should be ashamed of the vitriol you are spewing at Amherst and SHS! This is a tragedy for the Mt Vernon community which is embraced as part of the Amherst community and it is also a tragedy for Hollis-Brookline. If you don't attend SHS or have a child who has where do you get off criticizing our school? It isn't perfect but it is a community trying to get through some very tough times. If you have nothing positive or helpful to say, be quiet!
- ski queen, amherst, nh

I think some good schools have bad kids at them... and some bad schools have good kids at them. You can't generalize and say one way always works better than another way.

This is a case where a school is doing something different... some kids excel under these conditions and some don't. Not every kid is the same, and so not every school can teach or develop every kid the same.

Parents need to be involved in what their kids are doing! PERIOD!!! Schools are not supposed to be raising your kids. YOU ARE!!!

Parents need to get involved! Know who your kids are friends with. Know what they are doing and where they are. Your kids may think you are "not cool" for keeping tabs on them, but it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are shown the correct path, so that when we are not around they will choose to stay on that path!

Stop letting TV and the internet raise your kids!
- Steve, Dunbarton, NH

Has anyone addressed the fact that the school allowed students to wear black arm bands in support of Glover and Marks? This is ridiculous. Anyone else think that society is getting a little too soft?
- Jake, New Boston

The concept of allowing and encouraging children to "bloom" is good. The problem is that this is a large [public] school w/ a wide range of learning styles/abilities. The lack of structure and accountability also provides kids who have no motivation/moral fiber to develop in negative ways. I have personal knowledge of several good kids from "nice" families, which were allowed to drift. The two boys who were part of this horrific event, are obviously an extreme example.

It is the liberal, ivory tower thinking personified by individuals like Peggy Silva that created, and encourage this approach to "educating" our kids. "It would be cool if we could point a finger and say 'X' caused this. But we can't do that." It would be "cool"? Cool? The fact that she could be so cavalier to use a word like "cool" when talking about this situation is case and point. Is what happened to Kim and Jaimie "creative" enough for you?

I have another question for you: "If there was one thing you could change about what happened, what would it be?"

The example of the success of the Petropulos children is a result of their family, not the school. Do you think if these kids went to Milford High School, they would be any less successful? You have two kids [from the same family] who are extremely successful in sports and scholastics because of their parents not because of SHS. All of the successful statistics that are boasted by SHS are the result of the Amherst/Mont Vernon community. The kids who are successful at SHS would be successful no matter where they went to school. It is because of their families and the community, not SHS. The job of the school is to help kids who would otherwise NOT be successful to find a positive, productive purpose. Like parenting, sometimes discipline IS the answer.
- Jim, Mont Vernon

It's sad to read comments that pit town against town and point undeserving blame at this time. There has been a horrible crime and it's the job of each of us to look at what we could do better. Let's take our energy and put it toward healing and coming to a better place for our communities, our state, and our world. We become desensitized to the level of violence all around us and then when something like this explodes, we wonder, “Where did this come from?”

So... here's a mission if you're willing to accept it. Be more involved as a parent, neighbor, and citizen. Fight for non-violence in movies, music, video games, and in the world. Sometimes, the fight starts small with what you can change and do.

And finally, kudos to Souhegan for the good work they do for young people. They simply cannot be expected to change society; that is the job of each and every one of us.
- Clare, NH

i teach my children to call their friends parents mr. or mrs. and their teachers as well. the liberalism has gone crazt in this country and it is destroying it. so when some degenerates from the school get arrested and go to court, what do they call the judge, your honor or judge? i can bet it won't be their first names!
- fpc, bedford

Safety first.
In these trouble time we must find God Love.
- mo, plymouth

@Bob D--Excellent work with the vernacular. You must be a product of Bedford High School. They have one of those, right? How's that working out for you?
- Howard Marks, Concord, NH

I've read through many posts on this board and what I see is a group of people saying that if it wasn't the way it was when I was in High School then it musn't be right. If you are in a situation where respect is forced on a group they will be more likely to rebel, especially with teenagers. If you get down to their level and come to a common ground, the relationships that can be built can be and will be much stronger than if what you call respect was forced on them. If the students feel disconnected from their teachers, then why do the teachers deserve any organically created respect? You cannot force that type of thing. I was in the 1996 graduating class and looking back on it, I didn't have hugely close relationships with my teachers, but calling them by their first name certainly made it feel like there wasn't a barrier between the student/teacher relationship, thus creating more respect and a better sense of community within the school. As a matter of fact, we had some teachers we could not call by their first name and it was a completely different feel in those classes.

Reagrdless of this menial point of contention, as other people have said, we are NOT in the 50's or 60's any more. Just because something was done one way for a long time absolutely does NOT mean it is a better way of doing things!!!! i'm sure you people who are arguing that it is better did things in the past your parents did not like or agree with, yet you have turned out as good people ... how many of you who are arguing about this voted for Obama - for change??? Souhegan has been bringing change since 1992 and has been having incredible results while doing it! Wake up people and open your minds to something new - take something that SHS thrives on, critical thinking, and throw your preconceived ideas and notions out the door, critically think about both sides of it and look at the plain results of the majority of students who come out of SHS.

All in all, first name basis or Mr/Mrs., you cannot attribute the way students address their teacher as the cause of what happened in Mont Vernon.

Thank you for the great years and memories SHS faculty!
- Bryan Stinchfield, Aspen, CO

"Didn't see it coming"

Theres no discipline anymore. In school or at home.
- Jack Alex, Manchester

really folks? An uproar over what students call their teacher- when its the teachers choice? Seriously- people trashing the SHS atmosphere? One of the best schools, best teachers, best student GPA average- ahhhh...if only Manchester Schools could figure out -what they are doing wrong....I know- copy the SHS model. We are not living in the 50 and 60's anymore. All those parents who are "well in my day we would never..." wake up!!! we arent in your day anymore. Case in point- the reason for this article- those four monsters. However- they WERE not bread from a school district that allowed learning on a first name basis. Get a grip people.
- SRT, Manchester

And Howard Marks need to use spell check...
- BOB D, BEDFORD NH

@Bob D., Bedford--that's high comedy coming from 'The Beverly Hills Of New Hampshire'.

Check yoself foo!
- Howard Marks, Concord, NH

Just never let your guard down is what I practice. You should show respect to those who are older than you.
Open campus where anyone can come and go anytime of the day is something unheard of in today's world. Just asking for more trouble.
If I lived in Amherst and was a tax payer, I would be outraged at what's going on in those schools.
Just remember all Souhegan high school kids are not all goodie cookie cutter types. They have their share of bad ones too.
- Maggie Griffiths, Bedford NH

Oh those "faincy" Amherst folks, I'm sure their first thought was that the four who ruined so many lives "must have been from Milford or Wilton." Surely it makes them so very mad that it was some of their own committing such an awful, horrible, senseless crime, and right in their own backyard. Well, no way to make this go away anytime soon. It's what you get for the sense of superiority and entitlement you have created. But enough about that. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Cates family, especially young Jaimie.
- Lane, Wilton

I am a former student of Souhegan and I dont understand why people see first name basis as a loss of respect. I actually respected my teachers more being able to call then by their first names. This allowed for deeper bonds so if I was having a problem I wasnt worried about talking to them about it. Also, the teachers have a choice whether or not it is first name basis. They could even work at another school if they do not like it. The atmosphere at Souhegan is unique and I feel it works well.
- Jacob Parent, Mont Vernon, NH

DC - Bedford, There is a great difference between college students calling their professors by their first name and young children who grow up calling their teachers by their first name. As younger students they need to learn there is a distinction between children and their peers (who would be on a first name basis) and adults and the peers of adults, whom the children should be refering to more respectfully.
My children's pediatrician is quite a few years younger than me, and since she is not a personal friend with whom I socialize I DO refer to her as Dr. Pediatrician. If we were to get together as friends I would most likely refer to her by her first name.
Teachers are in and out of a childs school career within 9 months, usually. We parents are in their lives for the long haul and it is what we care about that matters, not the teachers.
Another thing to keep in mind, perhaps it does not matter to you right now but maybe after you earn that degree of yours, have some children of your own and gain some more life experience it may matter to you.
Best of Luck on that degree and believe me, the first time someone refers to you as Dr it won't matter to you what age they are - you will feel justifiably proud of your work and accomplishment!
- Catherine, Manchester

i went through souhegan, and so did my two older sisters. if i had the choice to go anywhere in NH, itd be souhegan without a doubt. i loved the environment, the feeling of community, and the support from the staff. souhegan is different than any other school in the state, and is better than all of them for it. the college transition has been easier, and im fully prepared academically. people who want to say bad things about the school because of whats happened to our community are ignorant. if you think your kids would be unsuccessful going to a school like souhegan, then your kids just arent mature enough i guess
- nick, springfield, ma

I am in my 50s and my children are in their 20s. We all call anyone older than us by their title (Dr, Mr, Ms, Professor, Sir, Ma'am, etc) until we are invited to call someone by first name. It is polite and respectful. My children tell me that they often hear, "You must have great parents". Souhegan parents need to discuss this with their chilren, since the school is not.
- Mary, Manchester

I would also look at the reading material inside the school. It's absurd for students to use the teachers' first name. It diminishes the respect they should show those in authority at the school. I'd fire the person who made that decision.
Kids like these who are willing to go out and murder do not need a daily dose of garbage fed to them in public schools. Teachers and administrators need to be very careful in choosing reading material for teenagers.
While we don't want to eliminate the classics, a lot of the reading material is very dark. You have no idea how kids will respond. Feeding that darkness isn't the best medicine. It's bad enough they can get that garbage in the culture, there's no use a school feeding it.

Parents need to get together and look over ALL books and reading assigned to students. If it is not uplifting or sets a good example you want them to follow, get rid of it.

We have to educate against a culture that is pushing kids into darkness. Now we can clearly see the results and it better wake up every parent.
- Ann Marie, Bedford, NH

If only the citizens of Amherst could see how their are viewed, as snob with a sense of entitlement. I've seen Amherst residents shocked expression when they realize that they are not the cat's meow. It's priceless to see that.
- Bob D., Bedford NH

I strongly belive that the teachers are wrong by letting their students call them by their first name. That just opens up a can of worms, as my mother once said.

I would never call my mom Mary. She would not let that fly. The students would have equal respect by calling their teachers Mr and Mrs.
- Jon, Epping NH

Several years ago I remember a Board meeting where the proposed Health Curriculum was under discussion. The curriculum included an exercise to lay on the ground and pretend you are dead and then write about how it felt. This speaks volumes about theri philosophy. BTW... even though 'propose' the school had lready purchased the books and trained the teachers. So much for public input.
- Dave Testerman, Franklin

First name basis shows no respect.
Allowing doors to a school to be unlocked is just asking for trouble.
Oh I forgot we're talking about that quaint little town of Amherst NH where nothing happens.
- Stewart Griffins, Manchester

That the students from SHS went to Mont Vernon to spend time with the students there is no surprise to me. Students from Souhegan have been doing things like this in the community ever since the school has been in existence.

As someone who had two kids go through Souhegan, I couldn't have been happier with the way the school operated. The first name thing? Initially, I questioned whether this was wise. But I quickly realized that it made NO DIFFERENCE to the respect level, or the quality of the education they received. NONE.

The respect level was always much higher at SHS than I remember it being in my HS days. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the first name situation, but rather the relationship the teachers foster with the students over the years they are there.

SHS requires all teachers have a Masters Degree and pay them accordingly. I think this has a LOT to do with how successful the school has been over the years. Turnover is extremely low. The teachers never have to worry about being nickeled and dimed when it comes to contracts and are able to focus solely on teaching. The build positive relationships with their students - relationships that last the entire four years the kids are there.

Not only are they solid in the academic arena, but they also have top flight programs in the arts along with other extra curricular programs as well.

And sports? Most of the coaches are teachers or employees of the school. They all subscribe to the Souhegan way of operating and it clearly shows. Not all the teams win, of course. But the lessons they are taught as being part of those teams will last a lifetime.

Take a look at how many academic and sportsmanship awards the school has won in athletics over the years. I think that speaks volumes about the relationships between teachers and coaches have with their students.

The Amherst and Mont Vernon communities are fortunate to have one of the top high schools in the state. I am so very happy that my two kids were fortunate enough to live in Amherst and were able to attend such a top flight high school.
- Warren, Amherst, NH

Although I am not sure if I would be comfortable sending my own children to the type of environment that Souhegan has, the fact is that Souhegan is ranked as one of the best high schools in the state based on test scores, graduation rates, college acceptance rates, etc. It works for their community. In this case, these teens are taking the initiative during his crisis and being the leaders that the community needs. They ‘get it.’ Maybe giving teens the freedom (and risk) to be more self-responsible is a good idea.

By the way, I believe the ‘rules’ and the punishments are jointly made by students and teachers and the use of ‘Mr./Mrs.’ is optional and not everyone uses first names. I had a few teachers by the end of my high school career that I used their first name or nickname and it had no negative impact on my grades nor my respect for them as teachers/authority.

It’s sure better than some of the college students I have interviewed lately for internships who seem unable to make a decision on their own with parental direction. Then, to emphasize the point, their parents then call up screaming that their ‘perfect’ child did not get the internship.

As for the tragedy itself, it can happen anywhere regardless if it is in a city or suburb, an affluent town, or a poor town. The world can be a dark place sometimes and sometimes there are just bad apples. We can only do so much as parents. Schools can only do so much. People are responsible for their own actions, for better or worse.
- Will, Salem NH

Your right Bill, Mont Vernon does not deserve to be at Souhegan. See your taxes go up.
- Tom, Amherst

It is nice for a few teachers to attend the weddings of former students, but they just don’t get it. The Souhegan School System has created a culture of teachers who become part of “popular clicks”. Alienated students will not be able to reach out to facility for help, when they teachers look like they are the friends of groups or other students.

It is a nice theory that teachers are friends with all, but the reality is that most teachers reach out and befriend the groups that do not need help.

I watched a Souhegan Graduation ceremony on local access TV a few years ago and witnessed a sad show. Many students made the facility look like fools as they accepted their diplomas with tricks and pranks on a stage. With no embarrassment the teachers and staff laughed and seemed more interested in impressing students as being “cool”.

We have an affluent town with so many fantastic people, but so many disrespectful and arrogant young people can be seen here every day.

Teachers need to teach and not worry about becoming Facebook friends or wedding guests of former students. Rules and respect will help students when they go out into the real world.
- Kim S, Amherst NH

Once you become friends with your students you loose respect that is needed between students and their teachers. Society is loosing out on being respectful to elders.
What are these students going to call their professors in college? I don't think their first name basis will fly in college!
So these students in Amherst go from Middle school calling their teachers by Mr. & Ms. to Souhegan High school where they're on a first name basis. Then to college (cause we know all Amherst students go to college) and have to go back to referring to their educators by Mr., Ms or Professor.

Like Aretha Franklin once sang
R E S P E C T
- Mr. Peter Griffin, Manchester NH

There is one major flaw with allowing teenagers to speak to adults on a first name basis. It allows them to believe that they are now adults themselves. Equal in all aspects of life as the adult they are relating to. Now what happens if the child and the teacher become romantically involved with another. Who is to blame then. The minor? The teacher? Or the system that allowed them to become close to one another because they speak on a first name basis? Ofcourse it will always be the teacher that is blamed. Why? Because supposedly the minor child by law doesn't have the right to consent to such a relationship. But yet the school encouraged and allowed the first name policy. There is line between the relationship of a student and teacher that should not be crossed when it comes to a teacher and student relationship? You can't allow students the liberlism of calling their teachers by their first name. It's time to change that troublesome policy at that school.
- Brian, Franklin

We cannot condemn a whole for the actions of a few. The German exchange students that Souhegan just hosted for almost 3 weeks completely understood that concept. Souhegan High School is a good school. Calling teachers by their first name fosters trust, and that trust allows the students to freely express themselves. After spending two years at Amherst Middle School with a very rigid structure, ascending to Souhegan teaches these students more responsibility by allowing them to have formerly forbidden freedoms. The fact that the high-schoolers chose to reach out the elementary school students speaks volumes for their compassion and understanding of responsibility. I have the utmost respect for Souhegan High School, as do my two sons who have graduated from SHS. As adults, please be mindful of your public posts, as teenagers can read, too, and the ones at SHS take a lot of pride in their school. Thank you.
- Heidi, Mont Vernon, NH

To the poster from Manchester who writes "Souhegan's policies are all wrong", the results are what you have to look at. If graduation rates were low and truancy and crime were high at the schools(like in Manchester and Boston) I would agree. The 80% of graduates going on to 4 year universities figure is low...it is higher than that. SHS was only one of two NH high schools (Hollis-Brookiline) to make Newsweeks top 1500 US HS list. Results are the key, and if results are good to great, there is no need to change.
- Thomas, Amherst

Silva misses the point. These teenagers DID show signs of being troubled. The swastica on the forehead, the facebook images, the dark music, the prior arrests. If you read her account, they were choir boys that suddenly snapped, rather that the reality that they got off track over time and NOBODY provided EFFECTIVE intervention. Lots of people failed these boys, starting with their parents, their friends, their teachers and councelors. Ultimately their lack or concern, foresight, or courage also failed an faimily with one dead, another severly injured, and all with an unfathonable emotional burden.
- George, Mont Vernon

To John W, Goffstown:

I agree with you John W. I am the kind of parent who shoots first and asks questions later and my first reaction when learning about the kid showing up with the swastika drawn on his forehead was - Why didn't this parent do something right then? Point out that this is stupid and wrong and tell this kid to grow up and stop acting like an idiot and, on top of that, tell his own son not to hang out with this loser. There are plenty of mistakes that each of these kids' parents made but (as I stated in my previous post) I don't believe any of them saw this coming from their own kids. Who would?

With that said, I think the most dangerous element in modern American society are undisciplined young men under the age of 25. If you look at a teenage Marine, chances are fairly high that he has his act together. If you look at an undisciplined teenager who has been befriended rather than parented by his parents, you have a disaster. Who makes up the vast majority of street gangs in this country? They draw their membership from dysfunctional families that have little or no male role models and little or no control and discipline - in essence, no one putting limits on them and telling them NO. Young men crave discipline and strong male role models and thrive when they receive it - take the military for example. The street gang thug culture is merely an outgrowth of this desire for order in a chaotic environment. These 4 accused killers in Mont Vernon were left to their own devices - no one put their foot down and put limits on them and told them NO - and a horrible crime is the result.
- Mike, Manchester, NH

Our children came home with their pumkins and smiles on thier faces. The entire school Administration and community have done a wonderful job protecting and helping our kids through this nightmare. This was great a community before this happened and continues to be a wonderful place to raise our children.
- Mont Vernon Resident, Mont Vernon

As a college student now (senior year), you start to learn that calling your professors by first name is commonplace and doesn't affect anything.

And although when I was at West, I would call my teachers "Mr." or "Mrs.," between my friends and I, we would call our teachers by their first names.

It's really a non-issue that I feel gets too much coverage.

So to people like Stella and Catherine, you need to realize that this is really not an issue. Not calling teachers by their last name is not a sign of disrespect. Judging by what you are saying, by the time I earn my Ph.D, you will have to force yourself to call me Dr...yet, I would clearly assume I'm 20-30 years younger...and somehow find it hard to believe you would call me as Dr. _____

In the end, if the teachers don't care, who really should?
- DC, Bedford

I feel Mont Vernon should pull out and go back to Milford. Souhegan is not a fit for us any longer.
- Bill, Mont Vernon

When I was in school, in the 70's the teachers wanted us to start calling them by their first names. The famous saying was "don't call me mister "smith", that is my father". I spent years not referring to them as anything (just saying excuse me to get their attention) because they insisted if I use a name it be their first and we all knew what would happen if our parents ever found out we were addressing a teacher by their first name.

Once you try to become friends with your students you will loose a measure of respect and distance that is needed between students and their older teachers. Society is loosing that bit of deference that kids need to learn. Bosses are on a first name basis, teachers, police officers... the list goes on. We need to bring back a bit more "polite society" to help the kids learn boundries and civility as they mature.
- Catherine, Manchester

I know a lacrosse coach, who coached several of the games at Souhegan and he was appalled that students were calling him by his first name. As a matter of fact, he mentioned this to me back in May and indicated that the level of respect for adults at the school was accepted by othe faculty. "It is status quo" at that school. Maybe the liberlism is going way too far. It concerns me about what is being taught in these classrooms. I don't care whether the principal was invited to weddings of previous students it does not display respect when the students are considered on the same level as these teachers and staff members.
- mln, bedford

i would never have allowed any of my children to call any one older then they by thier first name letr alone a teacher this is very wrong
- stella, Rochester nh

Nice effort by the teens at the school to recognize an opportunity and then act on it. Hopefully it inspires others to do the same.
- Andy, Amherst

At the end of the day, there are no answers to be found in this case. Only 4 people know the true reasons why this senseless and horrible crime was committed. As a parent, I understand the need to find out what went wrong in the thought processes of these alleged murderers. We are all searching for the clues or the tell tale signs that would signal such evil in our own kids. I'm sure that the parents of these 4 accused killers are asking the same questions. It is one thing to recognize that your kid is acting up (these kids had previous brushes with the law) or hanging out with the wrong crowd and a totally different thing to suspect your kid (or his friends, no matter what kind of minor trouble they have been involved with) could make the leap to commit such an atrocity.

My first reaction to this story was to paint these accused killers as the product of affluent, overly permissive Amherst parents who were more interested in being their kids' friends than in being parents and laying down the law. I am a very strict parent (when compared to the parents of my kids' friends) and I asked myself - What would I do if one of my kids were somehow involved in a crime like this? I have raised them the right way, never had any concerns or problems, no trouble with the law and now they are accused of one of the most terrible crimes in state history? The parents of the Columbine killers never saw it coming either - and not because they were bad parents. Both of those kids were mentally depressed, angry outcasts who became suicide killers and I could not have parented them differently and neither could you. Sometimes the kids are to blame for their own actions and I think we will discover that is the situation in Mont Vernon. This was simply 4 stupid kids who fed off one another and did something unspeakable. They should be tried as adults and locked away forever because they have demonstrated the capacity and willingness to do horrible things. The question we should concern ourselves with is: How many other kids, harboring this same brew of capacity, willingness and bad judgment, live in small New Hampshire towns?
- Mike, Manchester, NH

I agree with John, it's great that the teens recognized the opportunity and then acted on it. Hopefully it will help and inspire others to do the same.
- Andy, Amherst

Not a very good policy for open campus no matter where the school is. Unlocked doors to a school is just inviting trouble. Especially where this school is located in such a rural upscale town of Amherst.
And another thing, calling teachers by their first names shows no respect in my opinion. We need to show respect to elders and address them by Mr. Mrs. Ms.
Souheghan's policies are all wrong in my opinion.
- Doris Pond, Manchester NH

"Who would you have turned away? The kid who starred in 'Carousel' or the kid that played Daddy Warbucks in 'Annie'? The Eagle Scout or the Mormon?" she asked.
I think I might have turned away the kid who showed up at my house with a swastika on his forehead!
- John W, Goffstown

We can learn so much from the young ...wisdom beyond their years. WTG Souhegan!
- Deb, Pelham

Nice outreach effort by the teens. Keep it up. I think that's valuable for the healing process.
- John, Manchester